Rules of the road

We live and work in a traffic-congested area. Cars, trucks buses to mention just a few of our roadway co-travelers.

The following are simple rules of the road we must all follow to ensure a smooth and safe commute everyday

1) No matter what the commercial says and shows; your dumb ass car can’t really do those things! Read carefully….“Professional driver on a closed course” You are not a professional driver and I-95 is not a closed course. Your car is not as modified as the on in the ad you saw. Drive carefully!!!
2) Yes the green light means you can go, so go!
3) As to rule # 2, the devise under your right foot makes the car go forward, use it!
4) Your car horn is not directly connected to the brain or the other driver. Don’t beep and expect them to suddenly get smart. Don’t Beep.
5) My Favorite… If the sign says, “SPEED LIMIT 60” Then drive at least that or DON’T GET ON!
As the CB’ers say “Keep the shinny side up and the rubber side down”

President Nancy Pelosi??????

President George Bush undergoes medical procedure.
Vice President Dick Chaney undergoes surgical procedure.
Got me thinking, what if both needed medical treatment at the same time. Who then becomes president.

Here is the line of succession;

(By the way, some of these folks are not eligible because they were not born in the U.S.)

The Vice President Dick Cheney
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi
President pro tempore of the Senate1 Robert Byrd
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice
Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson
Secretary of Defense Robert Gates
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales
Secretary of the Interior Dirk Kempthorne
Secretary of Agriculture Mike Johanns
Secretary of Commerce Carlos Gutierrez2
Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao3
Secretary of Health and Human Services Mike Leavitt
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson
Secretary of Transportation Mary E. Peters
Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman
Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings
Secretary of Veterans Affairs Jim Nicholson
Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff

Spaced out

I know what happened.

When mission control said.....

“Go with THROTTLE up”

The Astronauts mistook it for

“Go with BOTTLE up”

HISPANIC OR LATINO

Recently I filled out a form where it asked me if I was of “Hispanic” or “Latino” origin.

Huh?

Before I could I can apply the required black ball point ink pen to paper to this all too important question I must carefully consider my answer.
Let’s see…… I was born in a fishing village near Havana…Cuba.
So what am I, Hispanic or Latino?
Off I went to my trusty four year old e-machine home computer and that great answerer of all questions “Google”

I typed “HISPANIC” in the search bar….After a bazillionth-quadillion-supertridillionth nano second (you know the same time frame between the light turning green and the guy behind you beeping the horn) so many answers filed my 19 inch computer monitor that I almost had to run out and buy a bigger one just to see them all.Alas…Much to my dismay, not one thing on my screen helped satisfy my query. Web page after web page I looked, to no avail.

Then like a bolt of lightning (non-dangerousness lightning) I came across one page that directed me to someplace called “HISPANOLA” I thought to myself that sounds like “HISPANIC” lets check this out, that’ must be where “HISPANICS” come from “HISPANOLA” yes it must be.
After reading for a while, I discovered two counties exist on “HISPANOLA”; Santo Domingo and Haiti. Since I’m not; “Haitian” or “dominican” this isn’t the right answer! I can rule out being “Hispanic”. Damn!
Google helped me see that I’m not “HISPANIC” maybe Google can help me see if I’m, “LATINO” or not.

Back to Google.
This time armed with the knowledge that my previous search found the island of “HISPANOLA” I asked Google to locate the country or island of “LATIN”.
I waited and waited. After a while, I got up, had a smoke, and came back to my computer…. Nothing. Well to make a long story short, several cigarettes, two phone calls and a conversation with my neighbor later. Google was not able to locate a county or island called “LATIN.”

I’m back to square one!

Hell…….Maybe the correct answer is…

“CUBAN BY BIRTH, AMERICAN BY CHOICE”

The truth

Truth be told

This blog will always call it like it is. No spin (Excuse me Bill)
Please stay tuned for more.