The Blue Man Group aka Miami Dade Police

Is there no end the many talents of The Blue Man Group. These Las Vegas entertainers were seen here in Miami standing guard over a crime scene this morning.

From the...WHAT THE HELL?

You know, I thought the often politically correct crazies in California went too far. I was incorrect.. There are even crazier people in another country.

The link below is from a newspaper in the U.K.

Some one across the pond has come up with bullshit idea. Have Santa Claus slim down, yes loose the trademark jolly round belly. According to these "Thin huggers" Santa and his fatness sets a bad example to today's young people.

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23419630-details/Santa+told+to+slim+down+for+Christmas+to+

Good news for Fins Fans

Look on the bright side, the Miami Dolphins DID NOT loose a game this past weekend.

Quote for the day......

I never guess. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts. \

- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Useful lightsaber tips

So, you have an old Star Wars light saber lying around the house. Well here are some ideas on how to bring them back to life and use them for things other than fighting evil forces from the galaxy.

http://entertainment.howstuffworks.com/enlarge-image.htm?terms=star+wars+light+saber

Gets the facts right!!!!!

I see the spin-doctors are at, again.

Lets set the record straight with the FACTS!.

June 17th, 1994 O.J. Simpson was arrested not because he eluded police during a slow speed chase but because he was wanted for murder

On September 17th 2007
Andrew Meyer was tazed NOT because he was asking John Kerry questions, this shit for brains was tazed because he resisted police officers and made threatening gestures towards them. In some parts of the country this moron would have been shot.

Lets get the facts straight people.

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia....Maaaaaarrrrccciiiaaa YEAH!!!!!

This must be true, it's in the National Enquirer.......

Check this out.
Caution, adult language..

http://www.hollywood.com/news/Brady_Bunch_Star_Reveals_All_About_Lesbian_Fling_with_TV_Sister/4897928

Stop the killing

Straight from the associated press:

AP-FL--Beer Bottle Killing,0154
Pinellas man found guilty in beer bottle killing
LARGO, Fla. (AP) -- A Pinellas County man has been found guilty in a fatal beer bottle attack.
Cortez Davis testified in his trial that he was defending himself when he swung the bottle. But jurors rejected the self-defense claim and found him guilty of second-degree murder in the death of Debra Williams.

When are we as a society going to learn? We need stiffer controls on these dangerous weapons.

I know what your thinking, "beer bottles don't kill people, people kill people" Horse shit!

I'm sick and tired of hearing stories like this. Someone just walks into a store, buys a beer bottle and then goes out and kills someone. Lawmakers take heed the American public is sick and tired of all the senseless killing done with beer bottles. You must immediately pass strict beer bottle control laws.

Take these dangerous weapons off our streets!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!

A message for the "tazed punk"

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar. - Edward R. Murrow

O.J. SIMPSON

Breaking news on O.J.

Stay tuned for more

Have we? Lets hope not

Lyrics from a song we should all learn.........

I hear people saying we don't need this warI say there's some things worth fighting forWhat about our freedom and this piece of ground?We didn't get to keep 'em by backing downThey say we don't realize the mess we're getting inBefore you start preachingLet me ask you this my friend
CHORUS 1Have you forgotten how it felt that dayTo see your homeland under fireAnd her people blown away?Have you forgotten when those towers fell?We had neighbors still insideGoing through a living hellAnd you say we shouldn't worry 'bout Bin LadenHave you forgotten?
They took all the footage off my T.V.Said it's too disturbing for you and meIt'll just breed anger that's what the experts sayIf it was up to me I'd show it every daySome say this country's just out looking for a fightAfter 9/11 man I'd have to say that's right
CHORUS 1Have you forgotten how it felt that dayTo see your homeland under fireAnd her people blown away?Have you forgotten when those towers fell?We had neighbors still insideGoing through a living hellAnd you say we shouldn't worry 'bout Bin LadenHave you forgotten?
I've been there with the soldiersWho've gone away to warAnd you can bet they rememberJust what they're fighting for
CHORUS 2Have you forgotten all the people killed?Some went down like heroes in that Pennsylvania fieldHave you forgotten about our Pentagon?All the loved ones that we lostAnd those left to carry onDon't you tell me not to worry about Bin LadenHave you forgotten?
Have you forgotten?Have you forgotten?

WHAT?????????

The following is a press release from the John Edwards camp.
I ask...
WHAT THE HELL IS A LATIO AMERICAN???????????????
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
September 9, 2007

CONTACT:
Colleen Murray
919-636-3203

EDWARDS INTRODUCES OPPORTUNITY AGENDA FOR LATINO AMERICANS

Plan will strengthen schools so that every child can live the American Dream

Miami, Florida – Senator John Edwards introduced a new set of proposals today to make sure our nation’s schools serve Latino students and give every child the opportunity to live the American Dream.

“The road to building One America starts with our schools,” said Edwards. “But more than fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, America still has two school systems, separate and unequal. And when our schools leave behind Latino students, so does our economy.”

Forty-seven percent of Latino students don’t receive a high school diploma. By the senior year in high school, the average Latino student has math and English skills similar to those of an average white middle school student. The inequality starts early on, as too few Latino students have the opportunity to go to preschool programs. And it continues after high school graduation: neither the college enrollment nor completion rates of Latinos have increased over the last 20 years.

Edwards’ proposals will strengthen our schools from preschool through college so that every child develops the skills and knowledge he or she needs to succeed in college and the workplace. To do this, Edwards will expand access to preschool, invest in teachers for English language classes, end the dropout crisis and initiate a College for Everyone program.

These proposals build on the rest of Edwards’ agenda to include all Latinos in the American Dream by providing universal health care, ending poverty, expanding the middle class and implementing comprehensive immigration reform.

“I believe that everyone in America – regardless of the family you were born into, the color of your skin or the country your family came from – should have an equal chance to build a better life,” said Edwards.

Edwards has also won the support of a key figure within the Latino community. “Senator Edwards best represents the interests of working families and middle America,” said Frank Herrera Jr., the former chair of MALDEF, the nation's largest civil rights group on behalf of Latinos. “He understands the issues because he has lived the issues. I know that Senator Edwards will respond to the needs of our community, which have historically been undeserved in the areas of economics, education and health care.”

A detailed fact sheet outlining Edwards’ opportunity agenda for Latino Americans is below.

-30-

Building One America: Edwards’ Opportunity Agenda for Latino Americans

“I believe that everyone in America – regardless of the family you were born into, the color of your skin or the country your family came from – should have an equal chance to build a better life.” – John Edwards

There are still Two Americas. For the last 20 years, 40 percent of America’s economic growth has gone to the top 1 percent. While they are not defined by family heritage, the Two Americas have a disproportionate impact on Latinos. For example, their median per capita income is only about half of that for non-Latino whites. [EPI, 2006; Census Bureau, 2007]

The road to building One America starts with our schools. But more than fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, America still has two school systems, separate and unequal. Forty-seven percent of Latino students don’t receive a high school diploma. By the senior year in high school, the average Latino student has math and English skills similar to those of an average white middle school student. The inequality starts early on, as too few Latino students have the opportunity to go to preschool programs. And it continues after high school graduation: neither the college enrollment nor completion rates of Latinos have increased over the last 20 years. When our schools leave behind Latino students, so does our economy. [NAEP, 2005; Ed Trust, 2007]

Edwards’ Agenda For Latino Education

Today, Edwards announced his plan to make sure our nation’s schools serve Latino students, so that every child can live the American Dream. As president, Edwards will strengthen our schools from preschool through college so that every child develops the skills and knowledge he or she needs to succeed in college and the workplace.

Expand Access to Preschools: Building one American education system begins by expanding access to preschools. Just 43 percent of Latino children participate in preschool programs in America, compared to 59 percent of white children. Among Latino children ages three to five who are living in poverty, just 36 percent are enrolled in early childhood care and education programs. Edwards will expand funding for Head Start and increase preschool enrollment so that more students – including Latino students – start school ready to learn. He will also improve the quality and diversity of our preschool teachers by providing scholarships for early childhood educators to obtain college credit and additional training in English language instruction. [NCES, 2006]

Invest in Teachers for English Language Learners: Nearly half of all Latino public school students are English Language Learners (ELLs), but just 29 percent of eighth-grade ELLs meet basic achievement levels in reading compared to 75 percent of non-ELLs. Edwards will provide additional compensation and scholarships to teachers specializing in ELL education where there are shortages and those working in high-poverty schools serving large populations of Latino students. And he will invest in developing smarter tests, including native-language and simplified English tests for ELLs. Edwards will also boost funding for migrant education programs. [NAEP, 2005]

End the Dropout Crisis: At nearly 2,000 high schools nationwide – called “dropout factories” – more than 40 percent of students won’t graduate. Many of these schools have large populations of Latino students. High school dropouts earn nearly 50 percent less than workers with a diploma or G.E.D., and are only three-quarters as likely to be employed as high school graduates. Edwards will create second chance schools and other paths to graduation to help former dropouts return to school and earn their diploma with flexible class times and locations and connections to youth development services. Edwards will also make sure schools identify likely dropout candidates early on and provide students at risk with alternatives such as academically rigorous smaller schools and classes, flexible and accelerated schedules, academic and support services, career academies and engaging coursework.

College for Everyone: College graduates can expect to earn $1 million more over their lifetimes than high school graduates, and their children are almost twice as likely to attend college. An estimated 200,000 college-qualified graduates fail to go to college each year. About half of Latino young people enroll in college, but few finish, and the white-Latino gap in higher education enrollment increased from 16 percent in 1974 to 26 percent in 2003. As president, Edwards will pass a College for Everyone program – based on the successful model he helped start in North Carolina – to pay for one year of public-college tuition, fees and books for more than 2 million students. In return, students will be required to work part-time, take a college-prep curriculum in high school and stay out of trouble. Edwards will also simplify student aid applications and provide additional college counselors for schools serving low-income students. [NCES, 2005]

Edwards’ Opportunity Agenda for Latino Americans

Today’s proposals build on the rest of Edwards’ agenda to include all Latinos in the American Dream by providing universal health care, ending poverty, expanding the middle class and implementing comprehensive immigration reform. To make sure everyone has the same chances that America has given to him, as president, Edwards supports:

Universal Health Care: Forty-seven million Americans don’t have health care and families and businesses are struggling to pay skyrocketing premiums. One out of every three Latinos lack health insurance, twice as many as other Americans. Edwards is the only major candidate who has proposed a specific plan for truly universal health care that will take on the insurance and drug companies, cover every man, woman and child in America and provide better care at a lower cost. [Census Bureau, 2007]

Ending Poverty and Expanding the Middle Class: Every day, nearly 37 million Americans – including more than one out five Latinos – wake up in poverty. Edwards has outlined an ambitious agenda to eliminate poverty within a generation by creating and rewarding work, strengthening families, helping workers save and get ahead, encouraging economically integrated neighborhoods, cracking down on predatory lending, reaching overlooked rural areas and expecting people to help themselves by working whenever they are able. Edwards will raise the minimum wage to $9.50 by 2012, expand the earned income tax credit and strengthen labor laws to make easier for workers to join a union. [Census Bureau, 2007]

Fight Abusive Debt and Help Families Save: Latino borrowers are substantially more likely to receive subprime loans than white borrowers even when they have similar credit scores, and Latino households have less than a dime of wealth for every dollar owned by whites. Edwards will crack down on abusive credit card companies, predatory mortgage lenders, and payday loan shops that take advantage of working families. To help families save, he will provide matched savings accounts for low-wage workers. [CRL, 2006; Pew, 2004]

Comprehensive Immigration Reform: Our immigration system needs a fundamental overhaul. Our economy is harmed by an underground economy that features a large and unprotected labor force. And our values are violated by a system that keeps families apart and forces people to live in the shadows, vulnerable to abuse. The first step is to control our borders and stop illegal trafficking. At the same time, it is unrealistic to think that we can deport more than 12 million people. Edwards believes we need to give people here the opportunity to pay a fine and learn English to earn American citizenship.

Edwards will end the backlog of background checks for people who are already in this country and are applying to become lawful permanent residents and, eventually, citizens. Our immigration policies should bring families together, not keep them apart. Edwards believes family reunification is an important value that should be preserved in our immigration laws.

Paid for by John Edwards for President.

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Jet setter Gore

Here is one for you Democratic, tree hugging types. Save the planet huh? Mr. Gore

I laugh at you ha ha ha

Green car....NEVER!!!!!

What’s all this talk about green cars?
We in America should be able to drive our cars regardless of what color they are. If we all drove around in similarly painted vehicles how would we find them at the mall parking lot?
Our founding fathers intended us to be free to pursue our own happiness. For me that means having a red car. I refuse to re-paint my big ass SUV any color other than red. You tree hugging; recycling, star bucks coffee drinking liberals get a clue and a life. I will never drive a green car!
Bob, Bob
What? don’t interrupt me I’m on my soap box here.
Bob, you don’t understand.
What?
Green cars means fuel efficient, you know save the planet
What?
Driving green cars means helping the environment. It doesn’t mean the color of the car.
Oh,

Well in that case,
Never Mind!

This time for real!!!!!

This time I really mean it! Today is the day. I promise.

This is the Day world will hear those long awaited words:
Fidel Castro is dead!

Disclaimer:

I reserve the right to be off on the date by several years. After all Fidel has been dying since 1959.

The real Cuba today

Exit Strategy?

Well it seems CBS has found a way to get rid of Katie.

One year after Couric jumped from NBC's "Today" to CBS in a big-money talent deal, the "Evening News" anchor is embarking on a high-risk tour of Iraq and Syria.

Katie, don't go, don't do it....Bob Alpizar

Land for sale

From the A.P.
HAVANA (AP) -- Fidel Castro signed a lengthy essay published Sunday saluting a Cuban political figure but giving no hint of how he is feeling, even amid rampant rumors of his death.

All of you who really think Fidel signed this or any document this week, please see me.
I have several acres of land 7 miles east of Miami Beach I would like to sell you. Also I own the Brooklyn Bridge and the Statue of Liberty. All for sale at a small price.

How long?

Today August 24Th, 2007 John Evander Couey was sentenced to death. He kidnapped and killed 9 year old Jessica Lunsford. Buried her alive! Lets see from today's date how long it will take before this scumbag, piece of crap is be put to death?

State of Florida please do this quick!

Art work?

This is from the Victor Hugo collection titled "crack head Jesus"

What is this crap?
Someone please explain to me, I'm not very bright, why I or anyone pay for something this stupid? I'm damn sure my 5 year old grandson can do better.
As I understand it, this is all the rage in L.A.

Thought from a milkcoholic

Here’s a clarification for all health nuts:

Milk comes form mammals
Soy comes from beans
Therefore;
Soymilk is a misnomer

It’s bean juice. NOT MILK!!!!

Mark my words...

Hear me now, you saw it here first.

This is the week the world will hear those long awaited words:

Fidel Castro is dead!

Did you ever notice?

Here is one that’s been on my mind for a while. Somewhere between… what to order for lunch and should I re-marry or just live together.

Republican vs. Democrat

Did you ever notice? (Sorry Andy Rooney)

The name Republican ends in the word (CAN)
The name Democrat ends in the word (RAT)

Just a thought.

You be the judge...

It is often said that songs from the 60's and 70's were written under the influance of drugs.
Here is a sample...A Bruce Springsteen song recorded by Manfred Mann and the Earth band.


"Some brimstone baritone anticyclone rolling stone preacher from the eastSays, "Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in it's funny bone, that's where they expect it least"And some new-mown chaperone was standin' in the corner, watching the young girls danceAnd some fresh-sown moonstone was messin' with his frozen zone, reminding him of romanceThe calliope crashed to the groundBut she was...Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night"

A clean joke...for a change

A Rabbi, A Hindu and a Lawyer are on a walking trip through the countryside. After several hours on the road they become tired. The trio comes upon a farm.
They go up to the door and ask the farmer for some lodging for the evening.
The farmer tells them that the barn has quarters for two of them only the third man must sleep with the cows and pigs.
The trio draws straws to see who gets sleep in the small room. The Hindu and the Lawyer win. The Rabbi closes the door behind and walks away towards the animals. After an hour the Rabbi returns and knocks on the door. “I can’t sleep out there, my religion does not permit staying with pigs, they are dirty animals.”
The Hindu says, “I’ll go and stay out.” After an has passed the Hindu walks back and knocks on the door. “Gentlemen, I can’t stay out there, we hold cows to be sacred and therefore I must not sleep near them”
The Lawyer says, “Ok I’ll stay out”
He closes the doors and walks away. Another hour passes and the Hindu and Rabbi hear a knock on the door. When they open it they find the cow and pig standing there.

If Gen. George Patton were alive today.

Have you ever seen the movie Patton?
Yes or no, you will love this.

If General George Patton were alive today (George C. Scott as well)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyUX6wV1lBQ

Assignment desk vs. Reporter

(Watch "A Few Good Men" before reading this)

ASSIGNMENT EDITOR: You want answers?

REPORTER: I think I'm entitled.

ASSIGNMENT EDITOR: You want answers?!

REPORTER: I want the truth!

ASSIGNMENT EDITOR: You can't handle the truth!

ASSIGNMENT EDITOR:
Son, we work in markets have stories and those stories need to be covered by men with cameras. Who's gonna do it? you? you, you're an anchor wannabe! I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You lust after the interns and make fun of the competition; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: The Lohan story no matter how stupid, probably got us ratings and that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, gets stories. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me for those stories, you need me for those stories. We use words like swing by, check out and just get me a quick VO. We use then as the backbone of a life trying to cover stuff. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of news I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a camera and shoot something. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
-----
REPORTER: Did you order the LIVE SHOT?

ASSIGNMENT EDITOR: I did the job I had to do.

REPORTER: Did you order the LIVE SHOT?!

ASSIGNMENT EDITOR: You're God damn right I did!

CAST

Mr. President, Stay home

Sunday French President Nicolas Sarkozy while vacationing HERE IN AMERICA lost his temper and lashed out at two Associated Press photographers who were taking his picture.
These journalists were within their rights to be where they were photographing the President.
Mr. President Sarkozy, this is America not France! We have freedom of the press. If you are going to visit THE UNITED STATES learn our laws! live by them.
OR JUST STAY HOME!!!!!!!!!

Financial Tip

Forget your mutual funds, forget your lotto ticket.
Here is a tip that will no doubt secure your future financial wellbeing as well as that of your loved ones.
Invest now in companies that manufacture and market hearing aids. Yes hearing aids. These devices will surly be the high demand item of the future.
To prove my point to you, next time you are at a stoplight listen to the car next to you. Chances are it will be a $100 car with a $1000 dollar sound system. BOOM BOOM BOOM. The occupants of these vehicles will be in need of hearing aids in the not so distant future. Heed my sound advice (pun is intended here)

Television as a weapon

This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box. There is a great and perhaps decisive battle to be fought against ignorance, intolerance and indifference. This weapon of television could be useful.
Stonewall Jackson, who knew something about the use of weapons, is reported to have said, "When war comes, you must draw the sword and throw away the scabbard." The trouble with television is that it is rusting in the scabbard during a battle for survival.
Edward R. Murrow

Survival Spanish...In Miami

Survival Spanish (in Miami) 101

In an effort to educate my non-Spanish speaking friends. This will be a reoccurring feature of my blog.
How to speak Miami-ion so that you may survive here.
One of the most useful phrases to learn is….
“Tome la billetera pero no dispare”
Translation;
“Take my wallet but don’t shoot me”

Rules of the road

We live and work in a traffic-congested area. Cars, trucks buses to mention just a few of our roadway co-travelers.

The following are simple rules of the road we must all follow to ensure a smooth and safe commute everyday

1) No matter what the commercial says and shows; your dumb ass car can’t really do those things! Read carefully….“Professional driver on a closed course” You are not a professional driver and I-95 is not a closed course. Your car is not as modified as the on in the ad you saw. Drive carefully!!!
2) Yes the green light means you can go, so go!
3) As to rule # 2, the devise under your right foot makes the car go forward, use it!
4) Your car horn is not directly connected to the brain or the other driver. Don’t beep and expect them to suddenly get smart. Don’t Beep.
5) My Favorite… If the sign says, “SPEED LIMIT 60” Then drive at least that or DON’T GET ON!
As the CB’ers say “Keep the shinny side up and the rubber side down”

President Nancy Pelosi??????

President George Bush undergoes medical procedure.
Vice President Dick Chaney undergoes surgical procedure.
Got me thinking, what if both needed medical treatment at the same time. Who then becomes president.

Here is the line of succession;

(By the way, some of these folks are not eligible because they were not born in the U.S.)

The Vice President Dick Cheney
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi
President pro tempore of the Senate1 Robert Byrd
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice
Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson
Secretary of Defense Robert Gates
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales
Secretary of the Interior Dirk Kempthorne
Secretary of Agriculture Mike Johanns
Secretary of Commerce Carlos Gutierrez2
Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao3
Secretary of Health and Human Services Mike Leavitt
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson
Secretary of Transportation Mary E. Peters
Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman
Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings
Secretary of Veterans Affairs Jim Nicholson
Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff

Spaced out

I know what happened.

When mission control said.....

“Go with THROTTLE up”

The Astronauts mistook it for

“Go with BOTTLE up”

HISPANIC OR LATINO

Recently I filled out a form where it asked me if I was of “Hispanic” or “Latino” origin.

Huh?

Before I could I can apply the required black ball point ink pen to paper to this all too important question I must carefully consider my answer.
Let’s see…… I was born in a fishing village near Havana…Cuba.
So what am I, Hispanic or Latino?
Off I went to my trusty four year old e-machine home computer and that great answerer of all questions “Google”

I typed “HISPANIC” in the search bar….After a bazillionth-quadillion-supertridillionth nano second (you know the same time frame between the light turning green and the guy behind you beeping the horn) so many answers filed my 19 inch computer monitor that I almost had to run out and buy a bigger one just to see them all.Alas…Much to my dismay, not one thing on my screen helped satisfy my query. Web page after web page I looked, to no avail.

Then like a bolt of lightning (non-dangerousness lightning) I came across one page that directed me to someplace called “HISPANOLA” I thought to myself that sounds like “HISPANIC” lets check this out, that’ must be where “HISPANICS” come from “HISPANOLA” yes it must be.
After reading for a while, I discovered two counties exist on “HISPANOLA”; Santo Domingo and Haiti. Since I’m not; “Haitian” or “dominican” this isn’t the right answer! I can rule out being “Hispanic”. Damn!
Google helped me see that I’m not “HISPANIC” maybe Google can help me see if I’m, “LATINO” or not.

Back to Google.
This time armed with the knowledge that my previous search found the island of “HISPANOLA” I asked Google to locate the country or island of “LATIN”.
I waited and waited. After a while, I got up, had a smoke, and came back to my computer…. Nothing. Well to make a long story short, several cigarettes, two phone calls and a conversation with my neighbor later. Google was not able to locate a county or island called “LATIN.”

I’m back to square one!

Hell…….Maybe the correct answer is…

“CUBAN BY BIRTH, AMERICAN BY CHOICE”

The truth

Truth be told

This blog will always call it like it is. No spin (Excuse me Bill)
Please stay tuned for more.